leave me your stardust to remember you by
by windofbanners
Summary: He was named for the brightest star in the sky. Regulus thinks about his brother. Set to Gregory and the Hawk's Boats and Birds. Oneshot.


**A/N: **Please excuse the terrible grammar, fragmented sentences, and shifting verb tenses. It's a rather old piece, and my writing has gotten better since this experiment (I promise!), but I figured that I might as well post it to keep it from cluttering my hard drive.

Title and song lyrics come from one of the most _beautiful_ songs in the world, Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk. Really, if you haven't listened to this song yet, just zip on over to youtube and search it right now. It's absolutely stunning, and is sure to break your heart in the best way possible :)

* * *

_If you be my star_

_I'll be your sky_

_You can hide underneath me_

_And come out at night_

_.:._

All younger brothers look up to their siblings. But you loved him more than most. He was – is – your hero. Even his name was for the brightest star in the sky. When you were young and your parents would rage, he would take you outside and point out the constellations nestled in the cool night. _Regulus_, he would whisper, taking your hand and tracing the sky. _Sirius_, he would say, sweeping his own hand against the bright star for which he was named.

.:.

_When I turn jet black_

_And you show off your light_

_I live to let you shine_

_I live to let you shine_

_.:._

He was the bright one. The shining star, another jewel in the Black family. He and Bellatrix and Andromeda dazzled, while you and Cissy were faded imitations of their stunning beauty. Cissy hated it, but you didn't care. You were happy to be the person to laugh at his jokes, to play along with his pranks, to listen to his stories. He would twinkle and sparkle and you were content to watch him. After all, doesn't every hero need someone to save?

.:.

_But you can skyrocket away from me_

_And never come back if you find another galaxy_

_Far from here, with more room to fly_

_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by._

_.:._

But now, looking back, you can see that you lost him when the Sorting Hat shouted out that fateful word. He had a new home, free from Mother and Father, free from Grimmauld Place. When he came back for Christmas, he was different. He still laughed and told you how all the girls loved him. You weren't surprised, of course, that he had become Hogwarts' new crown jewel. But in the night, he whispered to you of his new friends, how they were legends at Hogwarts, how they were brothers. Something within you died a little that night.

_.:._

_If you be my boat_

_I'll be your sea_

_A depth of pure blue_

_Just to probe curiousity_

_.:._

Before you were Sorted, he had dreams for you, hopes that you would defeat tyranny and join him in Gryffindor. You still had potential. You still were capable of _great things_. But as soon as the Sorting Hat shouted out the house of the silver snake, even from the Slytherin table, you saw something go cold in his eyes.

_.:._

_Ebbing and flowing_

_And pushed by a breeze_

_I live to make you free_

_I live to make you free_

_.:._

He had given up on you, but you never gave up on him. You bore the brunt of your parents' vicious remarks. You claimed that Sirius had ceased contact with the "pureblood traitor" and the "dirt-poor freak." When he snuck out to see James, you assured them that he had been hiding in your room the entire time. Did you approve of his friends? No. Did you think he was wrong? Yes. But when it came down to bare wands, it didn't matter, because he was your brother, and brothers protected their own.

_.:._

_But you can set sail to the west if you want to_

_And past the horizon till I can't even see you_

_Far from here where the beaches are wide_

_Just leave me your wake to remember me by._

_.:._

He still left. He left you behind, and when you stood in his empty room, you knew that he would never come back. But really, you could never hate him. He was going to the right places, doing the right things. Before long, you would be nothing more than a blurry face in your brother's mind, erased by the hatred that he had for the color Black. But you would never forget.

Every night, you whisper yourself his name, reliving the memories you lived together, squeezing your eyes tightly as if that will be enough to keep them from seeping out. You never tell yourself you are an only child, even after your mother blasts his name off the tapestry, even after your father rips his pictures from the frames. Sirius surely hates you, but you will never hate him. Because even as time erases the past, the boy within you will never grow old. The little boy that looked up to his brother, who whispered the names of the stars in the sky.

.:.

_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by_

_Stardust to remember you by_


End file.
